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Annoyed Emma

Gotta Admire Emma Watson (Or, Why A Bored Press Sucks Big Floppy Donkey Dick.)

Posted on 2011.04.22 at 04:17
You gotta admire Emma Watson!

Turns out, the real reason she left Brown University -- like, forever and ever -- was because schoolmates teased her when she answered in class (By all accounts, a very Hermione-esque event involving her being the first to raise her hand, and having the right answer every time) by shouting, "Three Points to Gryffindor!"

And, here's the thing: Unwilling to admit to being a sour-puss wimp who can't face a little ribbing, she made up some stupid story about how she's decided she couldn't put in the level of work on her studies this year that would satisfy her, so she was taking time off to concentrate on her other obligations: Publicizing DH2, other film roles, modeling....

And here's the brilliant part, the part you really have to admire her for: Just to cover her cowardly flight from bullies, she has actually arranged a role in Simon Curtis' "My Week With Marilyn," to co-star in Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," with Logan Lerman, and got Lancome to name her their new "Ambassadress"* and shoot a commercial with her in Paris!

All so it would look like she had some reason for leaving school half-way through the year other than the goobers who -- in her freshman year (It was reported then) -- yelled "Three Points for Gryffindor!" in her classes.

Then she took her TARDIS back to Honolulu in 1961 to plant the fake newspaper announcements of Barack Obama's birth, so he could be President.

Honestly, guys, next fall, when she's sitting in a classroom at Brown, how many of these goobers are going to issue retractions?

*Yeah, the term "Ambassadress," when applied to the spokesperson of a cosmetics brand, makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little too.

Comments:


violet
amythis at 2011-04-22 16:04 (UTC) (Link)
Poor Emma. Btw you misspelled Barack, unless you're talking about some other Obama.

And now I have "She flew her TARDIS out to Honolulu" going through my head to the tune of "You flew your Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia" from "You're So Vain."
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2011-04-22 23:16 (UTC) (Link)
Btw you misspelled Barack, unless you're talking about some other Obama.

I don't understand, it says "Barack..."

* looks shifty *

And now I have "She flew her TARDIS out to Honolulu" going through my head to the tune of "You flew your Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia" from "You're So Vain."

Oh, dare I filk this?
heron_pose
heron_pose at 2011-04-23 16:42 (UTC) (Link)
Filk it? I wish you would!
violet
amythis at 2011-04-25 16:02 (UTC) (Link)
Of course you dare.
heron_pose
heron_pose at 2011-04-23 16:40 (UTC) (Link)
Then she took her TARDIS back to Honolulu in 1961 ...

Because where else would you go, if you had a TARDIS?

I predict no retractions, because by then, Kate and William will be in the middle of an ugly divorce, or suchlike. (Oh, god, Ambassadress? really?)

I'll admit when I first saw the 'headline', I immediately assumed she was taking a Jodie Foster-like hiatus from film to focus on her studies, but it's true that Brown is v. expensive. (I'm also relatively sure that the undergrads there would sooner die than repeat a tired reference to HP and act like geeks in front of a hero. The 'cool quotient' is very high there, but I could be wrong about how that plays out.)
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