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Mandy

Please think good thoughts for the Bear-Shaped Dog

Posted on 2007.02.12 at 07:37
Tags: ,
You guys have heard from me before about my truest love, Mandy, the Bear-Shaped Dog.



Here she is in all her glory:



Well, Friday night, she hopped up to ask me to take her out, and I saw that, on her right-front leg, just above the "wrist" joint, she'd developed a lump about the size of a mouse ball. (Computer, not rodent.)

Saturday morning, she was at the vet's office, and he immediately told me, "That's not a fatty lump or a hematoma; it's not one of the good guys." So this morning, I'll be late for work, because I'll be dropping Mandy off at the vet to have it removed and shipped off to a pathologist, to discover what it is, and whether there's more beyond that to do.

I'm terribly worried about my baby girl. It's one of the times I wish she could understand English. She was adopted from an Animal Shelter at the age of five, given up by a family that was moving to a place they couldn't have a dog. So she lived for five years with a family, and then one day they drove her to a place with kennels and crates and other dogs, and they petted her, and no doubt told her they loved her, and drove away... And she never saw them again.

Now, today, I'll be driving her to a place with kennels and crates and other dogs, and I'll pet her and tell her I love her, and I'll drive away, and I wish with all I have that I could tell her that I'll be back to bring her hom as soon as I'm allowed to. But telling her that is beyond my -- beyond anyone's -- power. And that makes me want to cry.

I can and will do what it takes to get through the health issues with her. I'll spend the money, I'll put in the time, and if and when the time comes that the only thing left I can do for her is to put an end to the suffering, well, I can do that too. It will gut me, maybe kill me, but I can do it. I've done it before.

But I can't tell her that I'll be back in a day or so. I can't tell her that I'm not ever going to abandon her the way her old family did.

And it's tearing me up.

I'll let you guys know how things progress.

Comments:


Shari
oncelikeshari at 2007-02-12 12:58 (UTC) (Link)
*Gives you big cuddle*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:11 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, mate. If all goes well, I ought to be able to pass that on to the Mandy-Bear this evening.
natertatersmom
natertatersmom at 2007-02-12 13:13 (UTC) (Link)
*huggles*

Ahhh Jon. Your Mandy is breaking my heart. Bless you and bless her and I'll bet she's smart enough to know the difference between you and the ones who never came back.

Do keep us posted.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:19 (UTC) (Link)
She's such a good girl sop sweet adn loving and eager to please. I'd hate for her to think, even for a moment, that I don't love her, or have abandoned her.

I'll be getting a call later today to tell me the situation.
B00
i_m_b00 at 2007-02-12 13:16 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs you*

*hugs Mandy*

I will be thinking of you both.

Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:21 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for the good thoughts.
jo
jo_ron at 2007-02-12 13:31 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
my thought are with you and your wife. and I'll be sending good vibes to bear...and if you need anything...just ask.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:22 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure this ends up being more emo than it deserves. I'm sure she comes home tonight with a little owie, and everything's fine. THank you so much for the good thoughts.
harrysmom
harrysmom at 2007-02-12 13:40 (UTC) (Link)
Oh Jon, I am so sorry, that is so sucky. Dogs become part of the family and it must tear you up having to leave her there.

I'll be thinking of her.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:25 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, she is totally my love, so sweet-natured adn affectionate, and eager to please. You tell her to "Sit!" and her ass hits teh floor with an audible thud! followd by a "Swoosh-Swoosh-Swoosh!" as she sits there wagging her tail, looking up at you with eyes that say, "Is that good? Did I do it right?" Therer have only been a couple of times that it's just killed me not to share a common language, and this morning, not being able to tell her, "I'll be back for you," was one of those times.
deena beena bo beena
almond_joyz at 2007-02-12 13:50 (UTC) (Link)
oh you prat, you made me cry at 745 am....i hope all goes well with her and that it's nothing too serious....hehe or should I say Sirius, since that's the first thins I thought of when i saw her picture....
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:27 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, look at that face! Tell me that's not Padfoot! Wrong gender, but, Oh, yeah.

I'm trying to be optomistic. More of these things are nothing than are serious problems. Thanks for our good thoughts.
magnolialane
magnolialane at 2007-02-12 14:00 (UTC) (Link)
Oh my friend,I am so sorry to hear about Mandy. She is such a lovely dog and the way you describe her makes me think that I know her. Hope all turns out well for you both. I know how hard it is not to be able to let them know that even though we're leaving them that we'll be back. Must go find a tissue now that my eyes have sprung a leak.

*hugs you tightly*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:41 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much for the warm thoughts. I'm looking forward to seeing her again, so she'll understand I would never ever abandon her.
thesteppyone
thesteppyone at 2007-02-12 14:04 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs you*

*sends out healing thoughts*

*hugs you again*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:47 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, Sarah, thanks so much. I'll pass some of those hugs onto Mandy when i can.
The Hysterical Hystorian
abigail89 at 2007-02-12 14:38 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* to you and Mandy.

It's never fun to have a sick child. Sometimes it's even worse to have a sick pet, because they can't tell you what's going on, they don't understand what's happening to them, and most of the time there's nothing they can do.

I'm a dog person too. Two years ago we had to put down our beloved Annie the lab after she suffered a stroke. I thought my heart was being ripped from my chest. We had 15 wonderful years together, and she was in every way our child.

My prayers are with you.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:49 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much for the prayers. I wish I had a faith like that that I could turn to for comfort. I feel your pain about Annie, and you have mu warm thoughts as well.
alloy_
alloy_ at 2007-02-12 14:41 (UTC) (Link)
They're part of our family, best wishes to shaggy dawg.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:53 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Marc. She's absoluteyl a part of my family, adn often the best part. She's brave, she's loyal, she's kinc and loving, and always looks at me like I conquered the known world for her. What human can compete?
Gummo Bergman's "Silent Strawberries"
marginaliana at 2007-02-12 14:42 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 14:54 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Jessie!
Maple
maple_mahogany at 2007-02-12 15:07 (UTC) (Link)
I'm so sorry. *big hugs*

That does hurt deeply, I understand.

And this is a part of taking care of her and loving her. You are doing your job well.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 15:52 (UTC) (Link)
It's funny, Maple. I wrote, just the other day, about the difference between what we know intellectually and what we can believe in our hearts. Bridging that gap is always the hardest part.

As the "Daddy," I know what I have to do. And I know how to do what's best. The time it was most crushing for me was with one of my cats, who had a bone cancer that caused his jaw to break under the light pressure of giving him a pill. Even then --other than not likign the pill! -- he didn't complain. He just made his way along, still trying, and I had to be the Daddy, and say, "No. I know that you're willing, but I can't let you keep slugging it out. it's time." I did the right thing. I know it now, adn knew it then. It felt like Murder.

This is -- please, Oh Universe, please -- nowhere near that bad.

But it still hurts.

Thank you for understanding.
elfwhistletree
elfwhistletree at 2007-02-12 15:15 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

*tries to type with fingers crosseed*

*fails*

What they said - I really hope the tests work out OK, and I do understand about the "wanting to explain" part. However with cats I think I would get a lot more argument than obedience, although having said that I think sometimes animals understand quite a lot, and know that "their" humans have their best interests at heart.

*soppy*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 15:55 (UTC) (Link)
I hope she knows. I hope she knows I'll be back for her. I hope she knows I'll always be back for her. But all I can think about is a previous family who I'm sure loved her very much, who had always been back for her.... Until they weren't.

I know she'll be glad to see me, but I hate the pain or fear she might feel in the meantime.
abovethestars
abovethestars at 2007-02-12 15:40 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs Mandy*

You and Mandy are in my prayers today. Keep us posted.

*hugs you*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 15:56 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much, Sarah. I don't actually believe in that Higher Power, but I'd be happy to accept His intercession on Mandy's behalf nonetheless.
Melanie
dream_wia_dream at 2007-02-12 15:44 (UTC) (Link)
All my love goes out to you. Mandy knows how much you love her. You show it to her every day. And that love will carry over while she's in a place she doesn't want to be. And you'll just reaffirm that love when you come back for her. *Sending all my happy thawts to you*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 16:02 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, thanks so much, Mel. I'm so looking forward to going back to pick her up, and having her see me, and know that I'm back for her. I hope she has the faith in the meantime to know I'mthinking about her, and love her, and would never just abandon her....

But I think that might be a lot to ask of a dog. And she's been so loving for me, I hate the thought that I can't be there for her now.
zebraspots05
zebraspots05 at 2007-02-12 17:30 (UTC) (Link)
So sorry to hear you are having such a bad time at the moment. I truly believe animals understand more than we could ever imagine. If you tell her that you are doing everything to make her better, she will understand.
Good luck
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-12 17:43 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much for the kind thoughts.

She's a good girl, that one, and she knws I love her... But in the two or three years I've had her, I don't think I've ever had to do teh "srop her off and leave her" thing. The last time that was done to her, she lost her family. I know she'll be very glad to see me back, but I hate the thought that she might be afraid right now that she's being abandoined.
bluebellfield
bluebellfield at 2007-02-12 19:43 (UTC) (Link)
:( I'm sorry about Mandy
I had to go through something similar with my cat:(
*hugs you*
*hugs Mandy*
shygryf
shygryf at 2007-02-12 19:55 (UTC) (Link)
*cuddles you*

I'm so sorry. I know its hard. It's good you did something as soon as you noticed.

just remember that you are doing everything you can, and don't let her guilt you into taking the collar off!

wrings out hanky and hands it over*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-13 14:07 (UTC) (Link)
I was totally prepared to be all hard-hearted, but she guilted teh vet into it before we left the office, and she's been totally respectful of the bandages!

Such the good girl.
mrsquizzical
mrsquizzical at 2007-02-12 21:49 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

*hopes*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-13 14:08 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Q!
Risie
risiepookie at 2007-02-13 04:54 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, honey, I sincerely hope that everything turned out well. It's so hard when a family member has to go through something like this. Add to it the additional stress of not knowing whether or not she fully understands that you WILL be back for her, and the past history of her previous owners... oh, sweetie, you and Mandy are in my thoughts and prayers.

You want to hear the absolute weirdest thing ever? I have had the song Mandy by Barry Mantilow stuck in my head ALL DAY, despite the fact that I probably haven't heard it in months (if not longer). I had no idea anything was going on with you and Mandy until now. I cannot believe that is just a coincidence!!! Weird, right?

::huge hugs my darling::
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2007-02-13 14:11 (UTC) (Link)

(Note the Ear-Nibblin' Icon!)

Thanks so much, Risie!

I shoudl add that I'm sure her previous family were fine people. I don't want to sound like I'm judging them, although I can't imagine ever moving somewhere where I couldn't bring her with me.

I must confess the Manilow sng is officially barred from being her theme song. When I got her, I seriously considered changing her name to "Brandy," so she'd have a 70's pop theme song I'd like better. And I do frequently sing to her, "Mandy, you're a fine girl, what a good dog you can be...."
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