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Just Me

Seasonal, Ineffective, Disorderly

Posted on 2008.01.14 at 17:17
It's not the foot of snow that fell today. I've been feeling it for a while, even during the lovely, springlike week that preceded. But more and more often these days, I just feel worthless and useless, like I don't like myself, don't like other people -- when I know I love several -- don't want to act, interact, or be part of anyone or anything. Like if I threw myself from the Empire State Building, I'd simply drop without impact through the sidewalk, and no-one would even know.

And friends I love and who love me are feeling neglected and rejected, and I hate it, with a flame that burns like a mild spring breeze that wafts gentle and unnoticed on a still day in May.

It's just the Blahs. I'll get over it. I have times during it when all are well. Yesterday I watched a bunch of "Boston Legal" with a friend, and last night I spent fun hours with a distant friend who was having a great night.

But I'm upset that it's affecting my friends. And more upset that I'm not upset enough, because I'm wrapped in cotton batting or something.

Comments:


cyclonejuliet
cyclonejuliet at 2008-01-14 22:30 (UTC) (Link)
hugs
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:14 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
herrbgone
herrbgone at 2008-01-14 22:40 (UTC) (Link)
I know the feeling. If it’s any consolation, you’re not the only one.

Just remember, this too shall pass. And if not have a chocolate mudslide. They’ve been known to make all things pass… ;^}
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:16 (UTC) (Link)
While I did not follow your advice, everything did come out all right!
herrbgone
herrbgone at 2008-01-17 00:07 (UTC) (Link)
Oh what a relief it is!
thesteppyone
thesteppyone at 2008-01-14 22:49 (UTC) (Link)
Time to do what you do so often for me...

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

:)
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:17 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, babe.
(Deleted comment)
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:19 (UTC) (Link)
Well, I've already seen your behind!
elfwhistletree
elfwhistletree at 2008-01-14 23:44 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

Sorry you are feeling BLAH - I think alot of us feel a bit the same at this time of year.

Just hang on in there - good advice I was once given was to try and doing something constructive and something enjoyable, however small, each day - meeting a goal and taking time for yourself might help to lift your mood.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:20 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so very much!
bluebellfield
bluebellfield at 2008-01-14 23:45 (UTC) (Link)
*Bear hug goes out to you*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:22 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, cutie!
Dee Ryma
dee_ryma at 2008-01-15 01:31 (UTC) (Link)
(((((HUGS)))))

Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:23 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
xedra
xedra at 2008-01-15 01:31 (UTC) (Link)
*BIG HUG*
You are not alone, hon. I myself live with the BLAHs most of the time, interrupted by brief moments of YAY.
It comes and goes. Music helps me through it a lot of the time.
You are an incredible human being and incredibly loved.
*BIG HUG again*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:25 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, babe! I do appreciate it.
B00
i_m_b00 at 2008-01-15 02:16 (UTC) (Link)
It not just you.

(((Big Hug)))

We are here to listen if you want us to be.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:26 (UTC) (Link)
I just needed to get through my day.
the source of all heresies
ms_worplesdon at 2008-01-15 02:31 (UTC) (Link)
The blahs are going around HARD. :(
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:27 (UTC) (Link)
They are! Hope yours are receding.
rupert_talley
rupert_talley at 2008-01-15 06:23 (UTC) (Link)
Wow! You pinpointed alot of how I feel at times . . . well alot of times. Glad to know you're working through it. At least you have people who care enough to get upset. Sometimes (like your Empire State Buidling vision) I think if I screamed in the middle of a room "help" one person may glance my way and the rest would continue as before.

*hopes icon brings a smile*
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:30 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much, pal! I appreciate the thought, and I'm sorry you've been feeling the same way.
alloy_
alloy_ at 2008-01-15 08:51 (UTC) (Link)
I slap you with a virtually damp virtual fish.

I do that to all depressed friends.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:31 (UTC) (Link)
Uuuuhh..... Thanks?
violet
amythis at 2008-01-15 16:32 (UTC) (Link)
Hugs!!! You're one of my favorite strangers, and I'd miss you.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:32 (UTC) (Link)
Not to worry, babe. I'm not going anywhere.
sgt_majorette
sgt_majorette at 2008-01-15 20:25 (UTC) (Link)
From an experienced neurotic:

This is the time of year when normal people get a peek into the wonderful world of clinical depression.

Zeitgeist bites get infected. Dementor's hickeys. It's like that.

If you have not been diagnosed, the best over-the-counter remedy is chocolate. Hot, mit schlag. Spinning, knitting, fine needlework -- is there a male equivalent for this kind of weird, picky handiwork? Reroot a doll. Make incredibly detailed accessories for your action figures. Do your crossword puzzle in calligraphy.

It's important to immerse yourself in weirdness. Shroud yourself in a protective veil of otherworldliness. Reality is just wrong at this time of year. It is no coincidence that February is the shortest month.

If you're still depressed at Easter, seek medical attention.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:33 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, ma'am! The guidance was good and I'm feeling infinitely better.
shygryf
shygryf at 2008-01-16 04:54 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

Even here in sunny AZ the winter blahs still get to me. have you ever read Calvin and Hobbes? (who am I kidding, of course you have) I believe the best medicine is fuzz therapy.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:34 (UTC) (Link)
I've got several flavor sof fuzz therapy, so that helps.
j
j_on_lj at 2008-01-16 07:53 (UTC) (Link)
"Quick! Channel 68!"

Bitch. :)
herrbgone
herrbgone at 2008-01-16 22:03 (UTC) (Link)
TeeHee!
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-16 23:35 (UTC) (Link)
First real laugh I've got out of all these responses. Thanks, Geoff.
scribhneoir1
scribhneoir1 at 2008-01-20 00:58 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

I understand.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2008-01-23 13:37 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
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