Jonathan Andrew Sheen (leviathan0999) wrote,
Jonathan Andrew Sheen

Dream Trailer for an Imaginary Movie

So, this morning, I dreamed the trailer for an imaginary movie.

The tone of the trailer made it look like a sweet, goofy comedy, the beats very similar to the trailer for the Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew McConaughey vehicle "Failure to Launch."

The cast, in the dream!trailer, was William Shatner and a very, very young Matthew McConaughey, but he's too old for the part, so let's give that role to Shia LaBeouf.

The premise: Shatner plays a Grey Eminence of journalism, print and television: we're talking a Walter Cronkite-level giant, someone so mighty, so powerful and famous that.... There was a wonderful line in obituaries for Jacques Cousteau: "The sea had a voice, and it spoke with a soft French accent." Well, in this movie, not just news, but Truth has a voice, and it's the voice of William Shatner. Brilliant, groundbreaking though he always has been, he hasn't really kept up with technology, and really doesn't understand the Internet.

This is a problem because his son (McConaughey/LaBeouf) is an up-and-coming, widely respected news blogger, and though the two live in the same house -- a mansion -- they really don't communicate, and have no real visible bond. This is Shatner's youngest child, from his fifth or sixth marriage, and they've just never really connected. There's no ill-will, but there's no real love, either: when they chat over breakfast -- rarely -- they're like colleagues in their office lunchroom, talking about generalities; they don't really share themselves, and don't interact in any really meaningful way.

Perhaps because his son has said something about the Internet being the new News Media, the place where real stories break and are covered with great thoroughness, Shatner starts reading Internet news sites, but, being unfamiliar with the 'net, he doesn't know good from bad, real from fake, reliable from crazy.... And he stumbles across a conspiracy theorist site and grabs what he sees there and runs with it.

Without talking about it to pretty much anybody else, he puts together, and broadcasts a story that Muammar Khaddafi (at this point in my dream, I thought, Oh, crap! The poor bastards got overtaken by events, too bad they didn't have time to fix it so it's not somebody who's been removed from power and killed! so obviously, we'll need a new Nutbag Crazy National Leader, perhaps Kim Jong-il or his apparently-equally-crazy son) has launched an orbital laser weapon capable of destroying large targets on the ground. There's even footage of a test-firing of the weapon, which turns out to be footage from the James Bond movie Die Another Day.

Of course, the first reporter to see that this legend of journalism has fallen so completely for a nutty web conspiracy theory is the son, who must break the story that his father has made a journalistic error of colossal, even epic, proportions.

The Shatner character is, of course, ruined, his journalistic career now the butt of Jay Leno's monologues, his legacy, rather than being blowing the whistle on organized crime and corporate and government corruption, and explaining international crises and scientific discoveries to the world, is now a punch-line.

And the drama and warmth of the movie comes from the conflict and resolution between father and son, both discovering and rediscovering their pride in one another, and somehow building a new career for Shatner, that stands on the lessons he's learned in the destruction of the old.

I post this so that some enterprising screenwriter will steal it. Go ahead, I won't tell. I just think I'd enjoy seeing this movie, and now you know as much about it as I do!

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