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Just Me

This is not a meme.

Posted on 2006.11.01 at 08:43
I say again: This is not a meme. Yes, Tash, I am talking to you.

That said, I've noticed that there's a meme going around, in which LJ users answer questions.

I feel I should point out that, with me, no meme is needed to ask me questions. Ask me anything you wish, and I'll answer to the best of my ability, and I don't need a meme to do it.

That is not, I hasten to add, any sort of slap at those who are doing it as a meme. Whatever floats your boat.

But for me, I'm just a loudmouth who loves to answer questions, so if there's something you're dying to know, and always wanted to ask me, but feared I'd never post a meme to give you the opportunity, well, you're right. I won't. But ask me anyway. You're invited. Just because I'm me and you're you.


alloy_ at 2006-11-01 14:06 (UTC) (Link)
How does it feel to be a Fanboy podstar?
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-01 14:32 (UTC) (Link)
Oddly enough, kind of weird.

People keep mentioning it, and how funny I was -- and I really didn't think I was all that funny! It makes me feel oddly like I've acheived a kind of fannish acceptance, when I generally feel as if I'm sort of scrounging on the margins of HP fandom.

One well-known fan author, who I've managed to offend on multiple occasions, popped up on my IM to compliment me on the podcast!

But it was really a lot of fun, and I'd love to do more.
i_m_b00 at 2006-11-01 15:11 (UTC) (Link)
As a writer what do you want to get in your reviews? Do you want my emotional reactions, my thoughts on your over all story, does a simple good job leave you cold? Also what do you want me to say about your umm… more graphic depictions of sex that won’t embarrass me.

To be fare you can ask me anything as well.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-01 15:39 (UTC) (Link)
The more you can tell me about what worked for you and what didn't work for you, the better I like it.

You want to see the kind of reviews that make my eyes roll back and in my head while I croon with ecstacy? Take a look at the comments sarahanany left me here: http://leviathan0999.livejournal.com/16068.html ! Now that's what I call reviewing, and I think every reader has a responsibility to-- No, I can't back that up. On a one-to-ten scale, Sarahs reviews are about 38,693,421.

But The more you can tell me about your experience reading my story, the better I like it.
i_m_b00 at 2006-11-01 23:47 (UTC) (Link)
Wow, okay seriously that was longer then most of the papers in grad school. I don’t think I can do that for you I do apologize for that.

I will try to leave more of what you are looking for. It is easiest for me to talk about my personal reactions. So I hope that is okay. I have the hardest time reviewing your ‘smut’ and I think that is because I review emotionally but THAT is just too personal.

What I like best about your smut is that it is on the journey through the story rather then the story it’s self. It comes across as a natural progression it is part of the relationship not the reason for the relationship.

As for your dream to become a full time writer I say just send some stuff off. My DH has just sent off his first book and got a fist full of rejection letters but it has made him feel more like a writer then not having the reject letters. (just some food for thought)
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 00:31 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, honestly, don't apologize! I don't expect anybody to review like Sarah. That review was,seriously and close to literally an orgasmic experience. I think it's a once in a hundred writers' lifetimes kind of thing. It was a stunning, stunning experience that kept me grinning for days. It was quite literally transformative. I've thrice in my life cashed checks in exchange for the right to print my words. But I've never felt like a "real writer" until I read Sarah's review.

Any way you feel comfortable reviewing is fine with me.

I'm so pleased with your comments about my smut. I try to bring Teh Hawt, of course. I like a good stroke fantasy as much as the next guy. No, in truth, I strongly suspect I like even a fairly mediocre stroke fantasy quite a bit better than most of the guys in the immediate vicinity. But I'd be sad indeed if readers went away from "Unwinnable Fight" or "Unbreakable Bond" feeling they'd got no more from it than a chubbie or a wet spot depending on their gender.

This is The Work, and even though it's fanfic, I take it seriously. It's about things, I hope important things. It's about friendship and love and fallibility and betrayal and forgiveness. I'm genuinely trying to do the Heavy Lifting with this stuff.

I'd love it if you were to grow comfortable enough here to give me your emotional reactions to the smut. But I would never want to see you violate yourself to review fanfic.

And I do, in fact, have a lovely collection of rejection slips. I've had two pieces of fiction published, twenty years apart. I saw my name on the same Table of Contents as Robert Silverberg. (There's a mind-blowing experience, let me tell you!) But it's going to be a long time before I can do it for a living.
dream_wia_dream at 2006-11-01 15:17 (UTC) (Link)
Oooh...questions. I can come up with questions.

But first - People are talking about the podcast to you? That's so cool. No one ever gives us feedback for what they like about the podcasts. So we just keep cranking 'em out. Really, you fanboys were the most fun we've had so far.

OK, so I've watched entirely too many episodes of Inside the Actor's Studio...so I've stolen the Pivot questions that are asked at the end:

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
4. What turns you off?
5. What is your favorite curse word?
6. What sound or noise do you love?
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?

Bet you're sorry you asked for questions now. Answer any of 'em you want.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-01 15:52 (UTC) (Link)
Yes, I've heard from several folks about the podcast, all positive, and I really enjoyed it. I didn't know I was funny, though.

1: Oh, that's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. That said, I'm way too fond of abstruse polysyllabicisms, so it's likely something like "Sphygmomanometer" or "Onomatopeaia."

2: I can't think of a word I have no affection for. The phrase "Past Due" holds few charms for me, though.

3: The Internet. I'm serious. The fact that I can sit here and type, fiction, LJ Posts, responses. whatever, and make connections with other human beings in all parts of the world. I can make stuff up, and touch people's hearts. I can share my heart, and have it meet others. And it's all just these words, right here.

4: At risk of sounding like a "Miss America" contestant, Intolerance.

5: This alters, but for really expressing anger, at the moment, I'm a big fan of Muthuh-fuck!

6: Michael Penn singing. Cats purring. Laughter.

7: The voices of the two highest-up employees in my company.

8: Writer. Full time. Some day, maybe.

9: Any form of the practise of medicine. I don't want a job where, if I fuck up, somebody dies.
dream_wia_dream at 2006-11-02 16:44 (UTC) (Link)
You were wonderfully funny on the podcast. It was sooo much fun.

hehe...GREAT answers. I personally agree. The internet is inspirational. I've met so many WONDERFUL people in the last year getting into this fandom that I would have NEVER had the chance to meet without. And I feel at home being obsessive and geeky with people who feel the same.

:D I shall have to make you a Miss America sash...these were great answers that deserve a standing ovation while you clutch your flowers and cry off your mascara.

OK, I've gone to the silly place now. It's time to do some actual work.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 16:57 (UTC) (Link)
I had a great time on the podcast. It was a huge amount of fun talking about all the little ins and outs of fanfic, and especially be able to briefly make the case for Menage a Trio.

:D I shall have to make you a Miss America sash...these were great answers that deserve a standing ovation while you clutch your flowers and cry off your mascara.

I want to *sob* thank all the judges... And the wonderful *choke* people of my Home State, who've *sob* supported me so warmly! *sob!* Hi, Mom!

It's time to do some actual work.

N-n-now, you- You're talking crazy-talk there!
harry_lvr at 2006-11-04 08:39 (UTC) (Link)
9: Any form of the practise of medicine. I don't want a job where, if I fuck up, somebody dies.

Oh, lovely. I suppose it's a fair point, but I try not to think of htat :)
mrsquizzical at 2006-11-01 23:33 (UTC) (Link)
stupid bloody lj. just ate my question! grrrr. it's done that so often this morning.

i'll try and remember it.

do you think your 'online life' takes away from your real life? does it affect your relationships with your family, your wife? how do you think they see these relationships you have with people online? can you imagine an online friendship crossing over into real life? how do you think the people in your life would respond to that?\

that wasn't as clear, and i know it looks like several questions, but it's not. it's ONE!
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 00:05 (UTC) (Link)
I had a long, fairly eloquent answer to this. LJ ate it. I'll try again.

This sounds MUCH sadder than it is.

I don't have enough of a "Real Life" for LJ to interfere. I've never had a lot of friends, and two out of the three of those I'd been remotely close to for a while I have, in the last few years, for reasons not relating to my on-line life become distant from. There was a falling out with one, who'd become so volatile that spending time with her was like tap-dancing in a mine-field. Another's interests and mine finally diverged widely enough that we just don't have enough in common. The third, by the way, recently got married, and his wife is, as she should be, at the center of his attention.

My wife and I are doing fine, thanks, and she has only a marginal interest in my on-line life. It doesn't thrill her, I'd say, but it doesn't bother her either. It means that, while she's sitting on the couch with the remote in her hand, flipping compulsively between several home repair, personal makeover, and food-preparation shows on TV -- with visits to cop shows about arresting sexual deviants -- I'm sitting here inthe next room, with a door open, able to converse as the need and desire arises, but much less likely to make snide comments about TV.

And, sweetie, if you lived within an hour's drive of me, it would be the greatest pleasure to take you out to a movie or dinner or what have you. I consider you, and a few other on-line folks hereabouts, just plain friends. Not "On-Line" friends, but friends, with a love that's just as real as that I have or had for the friends in physical proximity.

I wish this didn't sound so sad and isolated, because it doesn't feel that way at all. I feel like, since I've gotten a grip on the miracle of on-line fandom, I've got more friends than I ever did have.
harrysmom at 2006-11-02 02:31 (UTC) (Link)
I like the fact that it is just question and answer time. It's a bit different.

Ok, As far as friends on line and real life friends go, do you think that people sell themselves differently on line? Do you think that if we were all to get together in a real plcae that we would be disappointed in the "real" person? Not just you, I mean this in general terms.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 12:00 (UTC) (Link)
It really varies from person to person. I try to always be as "me" as i can manage.

But I know people who take great delight in having "Online Personae" who are unlike themselves. Some are shy folks who like the opportunity to be outgoing and flirty and sexy in a relatively safe environment. Others have entirely other motives, not all of them good.

So I think if we had a big "LJ PotterFans Dinner" we'd be thrilled, and disappointed, and re-assured, all in equal measures. SOme of us would be just who you always thought we were. Others would be more delightful than you imagined, and some would be assholes.
abovethestars at 2006-11-02 15:21 (UTC) (Link)
I like your answer. In my idealistic mind I want to believe that everyone is as "real" and authentic as I try to be, but I do see how some people might try to be different than their online personalities.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 15:47 (UTC) (Link)
It's important to remember, though, that there are good and benign reasons for the unreality of some folks. And that's fine too. It's OK to experiment with new ways of being, and it's OK to play at being who you wished you could be. Interaction in real life is hard, sometimes.
abovethestars at 2006-11-02 15:19 (UTC) (Link)
Was there a time when you believed in God? If so, what happened that changed? If not, have you ever wanted to believe in God, but just not been able to? What are those reasons?
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 15:44 (UTC) (Link)
My dad was an Episcopalian minister. (In fact, he was the very last Archdeacon of Massachusetts' New Bedford Archdiocese ofthe Episcopal church. So, yeah, I was raised to believe in God.

I'm not an Atheist. I don't stand here claiming with authority that There Is No god. (I view that as being just as much a religious belief as claiming that there is one, and you know his name or his heart.)

But I am a specific disbeliever in the Christian vision of God, because I can't believe an omniscient, omnipitent, and omnibenevolent God who puts his children through sick loyalty tests like demanding they murder their own children, who is spiteful and vengeful and petty enough to nuke entire cities because he doesn't like how they rub one another, or to put anybody who doesn't worship him in some very specific way into an eternal torture chamber to be flayed and burned forevermore for his amusement.

The more I learned about who God was alleged to be, the more I didn't believe in him, because that's just some sick shit.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-02 16:51 (UTC) (Link)
And I feel I should add, as negative as my comments seem, they apply only to me, and my belief. If you're a person of faith and good will, and your Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Shinto, Hindu or whatever other beliefs you have give you a sense of peace and help you be a kinder person, then I love you for it.

My statement of my beliefs and the reasons for them applies only to me.
abovethestars at 2006-11-03 18:10 (UTC) (Link)
I remember that you did tell me about your father. I'm sorry I forgot.

I think I would agree with disbeliever in the Christian vision of God Because the problem is the authority we give to a book written by humans. I believe that the humans (I should just say the MEN) had an experience with God and were led to record it. Then millions of faithful people have been able to read about these experiences. I do work hard at understanding the context of how scripture is written. But still there is very disturbing material in the bible. There is rape and murder that is condoned. What do we do with these stories? Some people ignore them, or others like yourself will stop believing that the God of the Bible could be real. I am in the middle. I keep struggling with these texts that are disturbing and work to find how we deal with the canon we are given. But I have a relationship with God from scripture and my own experience of God.

Thanks for sharing this with me! I do respect your position on this I am one that is struggling with those things too.
Jonathan Andrew Sheen
leviathan0999 at 2006-11-03 20:00 (UTC) (Link)
I remember that you did tell me about your father. I'm sorry I forgot.

And well you should be, because it's obviously the responsibility of everyone who friends me to remember the abstruse details of my family hstory! ;^)

My dad -- that's the handsome fellow down there! -- was an extraordinary man, a WWII Bomber Pilot in one of the most difficult planes then in the air, and a Korean War Chaplain who once led a platoon of men back to saftey when the front line moved past the unit on a foggy night. I'm -- of course -- extraordiunarily proud of him. But I don't expect you to remember a brief mention from weeks ago.

I so appreciate your struggle with the ugliness inherent in so much of the scripture, and I appreciate even more that you have dedicated your live to service, ministering to and helping in a thousand different ways, spiritual and corporeal, your congregants. I don't know whether I believe in a soul or an afterlife or reward in the hereafter. (I'm sort of drawn to the Buddhist view that souls are recycled through learning expeiences until they acheive enlightenment, but that's more aesthetic for me than spiritual. But if there is a heaven, if there is a reward, I believe the path to it must be the one you're walking, involving youreself in improving lives in the here-and-now, rather than in the minutia of ritual and the details of structured worship.

And I love most of all that we can look at one another across the gulf of our differences with respect and love.

Thank you.
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