December 30th, 2009

Barack Obama

How to be a Democrat

Note: This is not a treatise on how to behave as the Democrats currently are. It's about the party, and its leaders, right up to the White House, should behave but bafflingly, infuriatingly, don't!

Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, Madam Speaker, assorted Congresspersons and Senators: YOU WON! STOP TAKING IT LIKE YOU'RE DESTINED TO ALWAYS LOSE!

For starters, take the lies to the liars, and call them on it! Connected to that, stop letting them play cards, like patriotism, national security and strength, that aren't in their hands!

Honest to God, guys, attack them where they pretend to be strongest, and take that crap away from them!

Here, allow me to demonstrate:

How dare you, Dick Cheney? How dare you degrade our troops by elevating common thugs and murderers to their level, claiming that their crimes are the same as the acts of our soldiers in the field? Administrations previous to yours punished criminals who attacked our country by treating them as what they are. We tried them and imprisoned them legally, prosecuted them with legally obtained evidence. We weren't so lily-livered that we feared to live by our principles and our Constitution. Would, Mr. Cheney, that you could say the same. For you to now stand up and declare that these common thugs must be treated as soldiers, for you to quail in the face of a criminal gang as if they are an invading nation, and for you to bleat that these moronic thugs, setting their underpants on fire, are the equivalent of our men in uniform is an insult to this nation, and to every man and woman wearing the uniform of the United States of America.

See how that works, Democrats? Criminals are not soldiers. Crimes, even serious ones, are not a war. We're fighting real wars, here. We don't have the time or the luxury to elevate crimes into wars so that we won't have to bother to prosecute them legally. Get out there and take that idiot rant away from the Republicans, and shove their cowardly, unpatriotic, un-American lies down their throats.

That's how to be a Democrat.