November 26th, 2011

Beak-Sproing

Charter Cable Continues to Suck.

So, I do a Google search for the upcoming HBO series, More As The Story Develops, Aaron Sorkin's return to TV, and, judging by reading the leaked pilot script, a triumphant one, and Google's first suggestion is "hbogo.com." HBO Go wants me to log in with my online account login from Charter Cable. Now, Charter has a web-based log-in for billing, account changes, and so on, and based on HBO Go's login page, it would seem that was what they wanted.

So I went to try to recover that information, and was told I had to deal with Charter's online support "Live Chat."

I explain there, and the Chat rep, "Ria," asks me for a temp password to use on HBO Go's site. So I give her one. I then log into the site, find that they have no information on the series, and log out.

And suddenly my computer makes the "Oops, I can't get your e-mail" beep. This is not infrequent, Charter being the incompetent morons that they are, and usually, a second attempt logs right in and gets the mail. So I go to my e-mail, click "Check Mail," and immediately get the beep again, and the error message says, "Incorrect username or password."

Yes, that's right, Ria, the dipshit, has changed my e-mail password. So I go back to live chat, and this time get a different rep, and I explain that Ria has changed my e-mail password, and I need it changed back. I give the password that has retrieved my mail every five minutes since I moved to Pepperell, Massachusetts in 2003.

"Oh, no, sir," I'm told. "Our passwords require a minimum of {two more characters than my password has.} That password won't work on our system."

"It's worked fine on your system since 2003 until your doofus changed it. Just put it back."

I end up in chat with this one for over 45 minutes, while she says useless stuff like, "I understand your frustration" and "I apologize for your inconvenience." (No, you don't. You know how I know you don't? Because you're not doing what it takes to fix the problem.)

She tried to direct me to call the call center, and I did, but didn't let her go while I was at it. So I had about twenty minutes there of having smoke blown at me by the call center doofus and call center supervising doofus. Charter's out sourced call center is in, I think, Guatamala, but the reps are taught "unaccented English" with the thick nasal twang you get from from call centers in Central Asia, but, like the outsourced call center for Dell, they're in a box, with two levels of excalation, none of whom are empowered to actually fix their fuckups.

Although they claim to be "Very knowledgable" about how their servers work, they aren't: they don't know the difference between a policy that prevents reps from setting a password below a certain number of characters, and the server's ability to work with such a password. (I had to tell their "Supervisor" that if it were the latter, my password would have stopped working on its own years ago about six times.)

Both the phone call and the chat ended with a promise that I would receive a call-back from a manager. That was (I was interrupted while writing this) four hours ago, and no call-back yet.

So, yeah: If one of your choices for high-speed Internet is Charter, and you have another? Choose the other. I don't care if it's Three Stooges Internet, they're bound to be more competent.