Jonathan Andrew Sheen (leviathan0999) wrote,
Jonathan Andrew Sheen

Paying the "Fat Tax," Saab Edition.

My wife got her new (Used) car, a 1994 Saab 900 3-door sedan, registered. Got plates on it. Than discovered -- and I don't know why she didn't find this out in the test drive -- that the seatbelt won't go around her.

Now, when you're fat, this is a commonplace occurance, and every other time I've dealt with it, it's been like so: Drive to dealership. "May I have seatbelt extensions, please?" They hand you lengths of seatbelt material, maybe 9" long, with a male buckle on one end, and a female buckle on the other.

These have always been free, and dealers have patiently explained to me that they were required by law to provide tehm free of charge.

So I start calling Saab dealers.

"Sure, we've got that. The price is One-forty-three."

"A Dollar forty-three?"

"No, a hundred and forty-three dollars."

You know, as if this is a normal, sane thing to say.

$143.00. For 9 inches of tough fabric with a buckle on each end. This price, you understand, is not for a set for the whole car. It's per unit!

Now, every dealer I've gotten extensions from was in Massachusetts, but this one was in New Hampshire, so I thought, Well, maybe it's a state law. I'll call a dealership in Mass.


I talk to the parts manager, and ask what's the dillio? Ever dealership I've ever been to tells me that they're required by law to provide these free of charge. Parts manager sends me to SaabUSA Customer Service.

SaabUSA Customer Service claims there is no such law, never has been, and the prices are correct.

That's $143.00 or $186.00 for 9 inches of tough fabric with a buckle on each end. This is a part that can't possibly cost more than $3.00/unit to make.

Now, honestly, I'm all right with paying the Fat Tax. I'm all right with paying more for almost anything because I'm fat. Sure it's discrimation, and ought to be illegal, but, fuck it. I refuse to fly because I won't buy two tickets for one ass, but I smile as I pay twice as much for a shirt because I'm buying it at "XL" (Formerly "Casual Male Big & Tall.") It's the Fat Tax. That's life.

But these guys are trying to tell me that every other car dealer I've ever dealt with was lying to stop me from giving them money. Well, yeah, that's something a car deale would do, don't you think?

But, man, I'm not bending over and taking that up the arse!

So I offer a hearty Fuuuuuuuuck You! to SaabUSA and all of their scumbag dealers, while I pay maybe $8.00 apiece for Extended floor brackets to mount the seatbelts higher, thus buying me my extra inches.

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