Jonathan Andrew Sheen (leviathan0999) wrote,
Jonathan Andrew Sheen

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God Wants His Faithful To have My Snot?

I arrived home from work the other day, and here is what I found in my mail. I looked at the front of this envelope and thought it was teh usual sort of credit-scam, married incongruously to worship of the fellow who chased the moneylenders and merchants out of his temple.

The text on the back of the envelope took a decided turn to the weird:

When I opened it, I discovered that God had told them to loan me not money, but what appeared, at first glace, to be overly-decorated byut fairly nice stationery. I wasn't sure how I was meant to use it and still return it, as after all, the expectation of return is what "loan" means. It felt like good-quality stuff, the sort of thing you might print your resumé on, were it not patterned like a gingham tablecloth. Then I glanced at teh letter. It's a handkerchief!?!?!? Say what? First of all, I'm not going to blow my nose on stiff paper you could print a resumé on! But, better still, God told them to loan me a paper handkerchief? He wants me to give unto His followers my snot!?!?!? Man, I'm just baffled.


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