Leviathan's Boring Sorta-Blog

you don't enjoy perambulations around the mall.
Yikes!!

I say we thin the old lady herd with a sub-machine gun, and attach all children to their moms with short bungee cords!
No, wait, that's the Texas answer...it's illegal in other states..d'oh!!

I always have felt that you should burn bonus calories when you have to walk in aggravating conditions.
Go you for walking in adversity! Yea Jon!!!!!

Well done for doing your walk anyway, despite adverse conditions.

Can I be very British and suggest that you try walking in the park in the rain, perhaps with wellingtons and an umbrella. Not that either my hubby or my kids would ever voluntarily do such a thing, but I believe it is not actually illegal in most states ;-)

Er.... "need" music. Sorry, I thought I was talking to DC Comics'Zatanna for a moment there!

I thought you loved "mall-walking"!!!
Note sarcasm aplenty

I'm sorry, so what you're really trying to say is that....

you HATE mall walking?!?!?!

Gosh, it was so subtle, I almost missed it! :o)

Nonetheless, good for you for doing your walk!

I take it that your walk was not, how shall I say, fun.

I have a technological solution to offer you:

The self-propelled Perambulator Facilitator.

This new device, no, system (available for beta testing to select customers) consists of a device that at first glance vaguely resembles a walker such as would be used by an elderly or otherwise infirm person to, as the name implies, facilitate their perambulation. However, the differences are marked and obvious to even the most casual of observers.

The first thing one sees is a projection extending from the forward side of the Perambulator Facilitator that somewhat resembles the cow catcher of a nineteenth century locomotive. That is in fact its intent. The roughly conical section easily moves lighter obstructions out of the way.

Did I mention that the unit is self propelled? Inside the forward section is an electric motor powered by an advanced fuel cell system that responds to gentle pressure applied to the handlebars that control the unit to completely neutralize the effect of pushing the unit while its operator is perambulating. The whole point being to add no effort what-so-ever to the already strenuous effort being expended in an unassisted walking exercise routine. The unit operates similar to the way some self-propelled lawn mowers work.

The conical forward section is painted a highly visible white and is adorned with a red warning stripe that somewhat resembles the letter M.

If it appears that the obstructions might be to heavy or numerous for the forward conical section to move out of the way, pressing a button on the control panel in the center of the handlebars extends the twin forward circular saws which make it easier for the cow catcher like forward section to move the obstructions out of the way.

We have numerous additional accessories in development, including a flame-thrower kit, that will be released later this year.

Of course included as standard equipment is the digital walking timer, odometer, oxygen sensor and iPod docking station. A cup holder is also available on some models.

For further information and to sign up for our beta testing program contact your local ACME Systems dealer by mail order or at a mall near you.

Hey...at least you walked though, right? So, that's better than just skipping it altogether. Great job! *hugs*