If they push your buttons, you're welcome to make use of 'em, but if you do, it won't stop me.
Harry Potter and the Awful, Rotten, No-Good, Very Bad Day
(This will be a comedic story about a day in the life of The Boy Who Really Isn't Enjoying Himself Much Today.)
(One possibility: Summer or fall after HBP, Draco finds the trio, and begs for their protection
from the Death Eaters, who he is simply too lame and not evil enough to be part of.)
(Either a story title, or a Celestina Warbeck or Weird Susters song title.)